A bride-to-be has said she doesn’t want to appear in her own wedding photos after being repeatedly subjected to racist jibes about her nose.
The woman said she had suffered taunts from her own grandparents about her nose, because her father is Jewish. She was then teased by her fiancé’s family – and even her fiance.
She has since had rhinoplasty to give her a “new nose”. However, she says she now wears a medical mask in the house because “she can’t stand” to look at her own face.
Sharing her heartbreaking story on Reddit, the woman – using the name /ThrowRA_nopicspls on Reddit – wrote: “My fiancé’s family never held back on jabs about my nose. My fiancé said he knew they really loved me the moment they started with the jokes, they’re the kind of family that loves to make fun of each other.
“My grandparents used to make comments about my nose that were kind of , especially because my dad is Jewish (although I’ve never known him) and I got the nose from him.
“My fiancé made this comment once which was supposed to be joking/sweet where he basically said he was so lucky for my nose because it was the only way he had a chance with me. That comment stayed in my head since, the idea that I’d actually be beautiful if it wasn’t for my nose. I’ve had really bad self-esteem and would go in and out of believing I’m ugly.
“I started thinking about having a nose job. After we got engaged, I realized if I was going to do it, I should do it before the wedding. He was really supportive of the idea and excited for it.
“He made some comments about being glad I was losing ‘the beak’, something he’d never expressed before I suggested it, which confirmed to me that I needed it.
“My fiancé loves my new nose. I hate it so much.
“I feel like I’m staring at someone else’s face, I look like any other woman in the world besides myself. I’ve always struggled with depression, and I was finally in a good place before this.
“Now I can barely get myself to leave my room for work. My fiancé is really frustrated with me, he thinks I ‘objectively’ look better and I need to get used to it. I know I’ll have to but I’ve been wearing a medical mask in the house because I can’t stand to look at my face.
“He says this is me sulking like a toddler, but I can’t control how I feel. He asked what I was going to do for our wedding and I told him that I don’t want to be in any pictures. He freaked out saying my selfishness was going to get in the way of us having a happy wedding.
“I didn’t want to let this hurt him, so I tried to come up with options like wearing my veil covering my face in the pictures, incorporating a scarf into the outfit, wearing my mask, etc., and he said if I do any of that we might as well not get married at all.
“That hurt a lot. I can’t stand to see myself in pictures like this and having everybody see my nose the whole day would make this even worse for me…I’m already going to be blaming myself for the fact that I won’t have MY nose in pictures. I feel like I’m ruining the day for him but what he wants will ruin it for me.”
Within nine hours of her post, more than a 1,000 people had commented – with most expressing concern for her and many saying she should leave her ‘abusive slimeball’ fiance.
u/Glittering-Eagle-654 – who said she is also a woman with Jewish heritage – said: “There is something wrong with the man who is supposed to be the love of your life insulting— and allowing his family to insult — the literal face you were born with. You don’t need to know your father to realize that people who make fun of certain ethnic features are racist.
Describing the fiance as an “insecure slime-ball” she added: “His insults are borderline anti-Semitic. And no, I’m not exaggerating.
“Would you be okay with him insulting the features of any of your friends from different ethnic & racial backgrounds? Of course not. You’re too close to the situation to see this is grossly abusive.”
“Please listen to me… You need to break off this engagement and find yourself a good therapist that deals with emotionally abusive relationships, specifically coercion. He has already battered you down, and it will only escalate from here if you sign those papers.”
u/TatterdemalionElect wrote: “His comment about ‘the beak’ was stone cold cruel. His remark about your nose being the only way he’d have a chance with you is telling. He is superficial and shallow and inconsiderate, and I really hope you realize you deserve much better before the wedding rolls around.”
u/GlitteringWing2112 commented: “This ‘man’ is abusive. Do not marry him”. And u/Melmoth-Milton said: “This was a heart breaking post. OP deserved better. I hope she’s leaves him.”
In a later edit, the OP be thanked everyone for their advice and said that “everyone has been so kind to me” – but she was “at my lowest right now”.
“Everybody is suggesting we should postpone the wedding, and I think that makes a lot of sense”, wrote the OP. “I don’t know how my fiancé is going to feel about that.
“I love him but a lot of these comments are making me think more deeply into how he treats me. He’s this very sweet guy normally. Introverted, very smart, always there when I need him, etc…but he’s not being that guy right now.”
She also said that she “really needs to get back into therapy” and is looking “into getting another nose job to reverse” the last one. “I just want to feel comfortable in my skin again,” she added.
For more stories from where you live, visit InYourArea.
Find recommendations for eating out, attractions and events near you here on our sister website 2Chill
Find recommendations for dog owners and more doggy stories on our sister site Teamdogs
A bride-to-be has said she doesn’t want to appear in her own wedding photos after being repeatedly subjected to racist jibes about her nose.
The woman said she had suffered taunts from her own grandparents about her nose, because her father is Jewish. She was then teased by her fiancé’s family – and even her fiance.
She has since had rhinoplasty to give her a “new nose”. However, she says she now wears a medical mask in the house because “she can’t stand” to look at her own face.
Sharing her heartbreaking story on Reddit, the woman – using the name /ThrowRA_nopicspls on Reddit – wrote: “My fiancé’s family never held back on jabs about my nose. My fiancé said he knew they really loved me the moment they started with the jokes, they’re the kind of family that loves to make fun of each other.
“My grandparents used to make comments about my nose that were kind of , especially because my dad is Jewish (although I’ve never known him) and I got the nose from him.
“My fiancé made this comment once which was supposed to be joking/sweet where he basically said he was so lucky for my nose because it was the only way he had a chance with me. That comment stayed in my head since, the idea that I’d actually be beautiful if it wasn’t for my nose. I’ve had really bad self-esteem and would go in and out of believing I’m ugly.
“I started thinking about having a nose job. After we got engaged, I realized if I was going to do it, I should do it before the wedding. He was really supportive of the idea and excited for it.
“He made some comments about being glad I was losing ‘the beak’, something he’d never expressed before I suggested it, which confirmed to me that I needed it.
“My fiancé loves my new nose. I hate it so much.
“I feel like I’m staring at someone else’s face, I look like any other woman in the world besides myself. I’ve always struggled with depression, and I was finally in a good place before this.
“Now I can barely get myself to leave my room for work. My fiancé is really frustrated with me, he thinks I ‘objectively’ look better and I need to get used to it. I know I’ll have to but I’ve been wearing a medical mask in the house because I can’t stand to look at my face.
“He says this is me sulking like a toddler, but I can’t control how I feel. He asked what I was going to do for our wedding and I told him that I don’t want to be in any pictures. He freaked out saying my selfishness was going to get in the way of us having a happy wedding.
“I didn’t want to let this hurt him, so I tried to come up with options like wearing my veil covering my face in the pictures, incorporating a scarf into the outfit, wearing my mask, etc., and he said if I do any of that we might as well not get married at all.
“That hurt a lot. I can’t stand to see myself in pictures like this and having everybody see my nose the whole day would make this even worse for me…I’m already going to be blaming myself for the fact that I won’t have MY nose in pictures. I feel like I’m ruining the day for him but what he wants will ruin it for me.”
Within nine hours of her post, more than a 1,000 people had commented – with most expressing concern for her and many saying she should leave her ‘abusive slimeball’ fiance.
u/Glittering-Eagle-654 – who said she is also a woman with Jewish heritage – said: “There is something wrong with the man who is supposed to be the love of your life insulting— and allowing his family to insult — the literal face you were born with. You don’t need to know your father to realize that people who make fun of certain ethnic features are racist.
Describing the fiance as an “insecure slime-ball” she added: “His insults are borderline anti-Semitic. And no, I’m not exaggerating.
“Would you be okay with him insulting the features of any of your friends from different ethnic & racial backgrounds? Of course not. You’re too close to the situation to see this is grossly abusive.”
“Please listen to me… You need to break off this engagement and find yourself a good therapist that deals with emotionally abusive relationships, specifically coercion. He has already battered you down, and it will only escalate from here if you sign those papers.”
u/TatterdemalionElect wrote: “His comment about ‘the beak’ was stone cold cruel. His remark about your nose being the only way he’d have a chance with you is telling. He is superficial and shallow and inconsiderate, and I really hope you realize you deserve much better before the wedding rolls around.”
u/GlitteringWing2112 commented: “This ‘man’ is abusive. Do not marry him”. And u/Melmoth-Milton said: “This was a heart breaking post. OP deserved better. I hope she’s leaves him.”
In a later edit, the OP be thanked everyone for their advice and said that “everyone has been so kind to me” – but she was “at my lowest right now”.
“Everybody is suggesting we should postpone the wedding, and I think that makes a lot of sense”, wrote the OP. “I don’t know how my fiancé is going to feel about that.
“I love him but a lot of these comments are making me think more deeply into how he treats me. He’s this very sweet guy normally. Introverted, very smart, always there when I need him, etc…but he’s not being that guy right now.”
She also said that she “really needs to get back into therapy” and is looking “into getting another nose job to reverse” the last one. “I just want to feel comfortable in my skin again,” she added.
For more stories from where you live, visit InYourArea.
Find recommendations for eating out, attractions and events near you here on our sister website 2Chill
Find recommendations for dog owners and more doggy stories on our sister site Teamdogs
